20 Things I Live By

Just some tidbits I've learned through my various fuck ups and observations (and those of my friends). Enjoy!

1. Sleep is not really a take-it-or-leave-it sort of thing. No sleep = no function. Naps save lives.
2. As a rule: stay out of it. Don’t play God with your friends’ relationships and don’t force your past experiences on the people around you. You were allowed to fuck up; let them do the same.
3. If advertising required any degree of truth, Vodka would be renamed Bad Decision Juice.
4. Tired/hot/cold/hungover/sad/sick? Have a shower.
5. There will always be someone less attractive/more attractive than you. Have some self-confidence, but also have something more to offer than your looks.
6. Friendships don’t just “happen” and they aren’t just there when you need them. Have your friends’ backs, and expect the same of them.
7. Make sure you know how to be alone. Being in constant need of company won’t get you very far in life.
8. Defining your style around trends is not only fucking lame, it’s fucking expensive.
9. Sure that table looks fun, but don’t dance on it. Trust me.
10. There aren’t many instances where it is acceptable to be “bored”. If you have an imagination and functional limbs, use your fucking creativity.
11. You know what? Nobody cares that your hoodie/jeans/dress cost you $400. Nobody cares about your famous uncle, or your connection at Rolling Stone, or whatever fancy restaurant you’re douching it up at.
12. People who can’t laugh at themselves aren’t very fun people.
13. Ignorance breeds hate and narrow-mindedness. Read a lot, ask questions and really try to understand perspectives different to your own.
14. There’s nothing like a long walk at dusk.
15. Profanity, sarcasm and racist jokes can be the best forms of humour when used in jest, but are the most pathetic when used maliciously.
16. Don’t be a limp noodle bystander. They are the lowest life form. At the very least, call the police.
17. Be nice to your waiter, be nice to your checkout chick, be nice to strangers. We’re all people.
18. If you’re going to drunk-eat, do it properly. Chicken nuggets, a Whopper or a Snackbox -- none of this “bread” business.
19. Agree to disagree, unless the person is being an ignorant cunt.
20. USE A FUCKING CONDOM.